i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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