your thong is hanging out like whoa
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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