We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
