Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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