Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
