Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
