this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
