tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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