So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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