When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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