Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
