she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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