id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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