You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
