Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
