My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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