Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
