Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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