i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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