me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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