Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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