I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
