Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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