I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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