Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
