sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
