We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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