My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am available for nakedness
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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