she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sext me about skeletons
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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