Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
