He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
