3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
