you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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