Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
