dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
