That's intense
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She tied me up with her honor cords...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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