people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
