how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
