$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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