I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
