Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
