OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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