dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
