I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
