New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
