I just threw up on my dentist
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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