i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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