I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
