i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
