Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
