Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
